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FLYLADY: Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your PeaceDear Friends:We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught in that downward spiral of hurting. Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU! You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing! Remember that you can't change how people behave Ð you can only change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat you poorly Ð feel pity for her because most likely she is a very insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not know what it is like to FLY! Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it proudly. Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so! Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what unhappy and miserable people think or say about you. YOU know you are worthy and deserving of love not hurt. When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this means taking care of youÉÉ. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!! You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the Holidays!!! Do this for YOU! Love, Kelly [Home] [Join FlyLady] [Contact Us] [About FlyLady] [Privacy Statement] [Terms & Conditions] FlyLady.net "This is FlyLady's List that has grown by leaps and bounds..." Copyright 2001 - 2008 FlyLady and Company, Inc. 
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