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Ask FlyLady!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Dealing with perfectionism...
Dear FlyLady,
I can not tell you how much of a difference using your directives have helped me establish some semblance of order in my home. This is no easy task for a complete SHE who is also the mother of two little dds (one is 2-years and the other is 5-mos) and works part-time outside the home (every mother is a working mother -- lol). I'm fairly accomplished professionally having earned my Ph.D. before becoming a parent, however, my greatest challenge has always been consistency and dealing with perfectionism. I've been fluttering since September and I am having a horrible time establishing routines and using my Control Journal on a consistent basis. What wonder words of wisdom can you offer. I find it very difficult to not beat myself up for not having my entire home in order and for not having firmly established routines.
Thanks for your encouragement and infinite wisdom!!
Dear Friend,
You know most of us had it together before the babies were born! Then life happened and we could not keep up with our perfectionism getting in our way so we just threw the baby out with the bath water. We lose a some sleep and we keep pushing ourselves to continue doing things the way we always have done them. You know what they say when something isn't working we continue to do it that way it is a sign of insanity.
There comes a time that we need to just stop and take care of ourselves. If we will do this then the house will come together. You can be a mother to your children if you are dragging around sleep deprived, hungry and dehydrated. Sleep when the babies sleep! Ask for help!
Look at your routines. Are they too long? Usually when someone is having a problem being consistent it is because they have written out the elaborate routines and they become overwhelming. A routine is a just a series of about three habits that are put together to help you start your day. Get up 15 minutes before your babies. Get yourself dressed to SHOES. Fix your hair and face and while you are in the bathroom just swish the toilet and wipe the counters. Pick up after yourself.
Write out a simple before bed routine too. Lay out your clothes, brush your teeth and go to bed at a decent hour! This is probably the most important part of all your routines. Don't stay up late needing to be by yourself. You need your rest first.
I used post-it notes on the bathroom mirror to get me started. Do what you have to in order to remind yourself to take care of you! Do you hear me! If you don't take care of you then who will and who will take care of the babies if you don't take care of you!!
- FlyLady
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